Five and counting

We made it. It’s been a full 1826 days since Emily and I completed our martial vows. In celebration of these five years, I present five reasons why I got the better end of the deal.

Parenting style

A confession: When it comes to discipline, Summer is a mighty whirl wind, and I'm a blade of grass that gets tossed to and fro. Last weekend, I was sent to Summer's room at 2AM to help her go back to sleep. Half an hour later, Emily grew suspicious and came to check on our condition. Somehow, Summer had overpowered me, forced me to let her out of the crib, and ordered me to go to sleep on the floor. Meanwhile, she had a grand time playing with all her toys in the soft moonlight.

Fortunately, Emily has enough child disciplining skills for three or four families. As a teacher, she was unusual since she actually enjoyed the classroom management aspect of the job. She gets giddy thinking about how to create order from the chaos that comes from children. She is the grand old tree that stands perfectly steadfast through Summer's gales.

Rationally level headed

Remember, remember... by the time ladies at the hair salon are giving advice about a particular investment scheme, it's time to pull back. Way back. It was true about tech stocks in 2000 and true about houses in 2006. I confess to being irrationally exuberant from time to time, but Emily has always been there to keep me from stumbling over any financial cliffs. Time share peddlers beware... she can see right through you.

Innovating where you should

For thousands of years, husbands have been held hostage by their mother-in-law and grandmother-in-law's cooking. Why? Because cooking skills, recipes, styles, and tastes are traditionally transferred directly from mother to daughter. But Emily is constantly expanding her culinary repertoire and taking her skill set to the next level (no offense to Wendy or Jacqs – some of my all-time favorite recipes come straight from the family cookbook).

Of course, every once in a while, some new fangled dish is DOA as it hits the table. But luckily, she doesn’t take the failures personally. She analyzes the flaws and missteps, and does it better the next time.

Surprises surprises

Emily loves a good surprise. Unfortunately, surprising Emily with clever and thoughtful gifts and other expressions of affection simply isn’t my forte. To satiate her annual surprise quotient, she is forced to concoct fantastic experiences for me instead. Trust me, you definitely want this woman as your birthday party planner.

Aggressive (and confident in her own worth)

This may sound odd, but it’s an important quality to possess should somebody wish to be happily married to me. Bear in mind that I’m never intentionally insensitive, uncaring, or unsentimental. However, I’m afraid I unintentionally do such things on a regular basis.

Lesser women would either resign themselves to a life of quiet suffering or simply handle the situation in a passive-aggressive manner (public service announcement for all the ladies out there: Men are like dogs--you must correct them immediately or else they won’t understand the relationship between their behavior and your reactions). Emily is simply aggressive and it works out to both of our advantage. I get immediate feedback on my misdeeds, and she doesn’t hold it against me when I course correct in a timely fashion. I think it’s all either gender could hope for.

In conclusion

First, a word to my male readers: Sorry gents, she’s taken. To Emily: I have a feeling the next 1826 days will be even better than the first.