Thursday, May 15, 2014

there'd be days like this

so as the mother of four young children, i try to stay away from stressful situations as much as possible. duh. who doesn’t? but every now and again, there are certain places i have to go and certain things i have to do that will inevitably bring about a certain amount of stress. okay, fine. that’s life. i get it.

but before i decide whether or not i have the emotional reserves to engage in such potentially stressful activities, i like to apply a newly-developed little litmus test:

is this activity going to cause me a “regular” amount of stress or a “gone to Costco at the busiest time of day with your three small children and your debit card has been denied and you don’t know why and you don’t have any checks and you don’t have any other way of paying for your groceries and you don’t want to go home empty-handed because it took you months to find the energy to get here and you really need the dishwasher detergent because you haven’t run your dishwasher in, like, three days, so you’re shuffled to the front of all the cash registers where everyone is watching you, and you’re on the phone with your bank while your newborn is screaming bloody murder because he’s tired and he’s totally done with being at Costco, and he won’t stop screaming (not even a little bit), and you’re looking like a complete idiot bouncing him like crazy while he continues to scream, and the automated system can’t understand what you’re saying because of all the screaming, and customer service can’t understand what you’re saying because of all the screaming, and they've hung up on you two times and you've entered your (expletive) account number and your (expletive) pin number for the (expletive) thousandth time trying to get a hold of someone, and now your toddler is screaming bloody murder because you’re on the phone and he thinks you’re talking to his daddy and he really, really, really wants to talk to his daddy, and you’re trying really, really, really hard not to cry in front of all these people, and did i mention that everyone is watching? and you are in a hurry because you have another child that needs to be picked up from school, and oh, good, so you’re telling me you issued me a new debit card (four months ago) and that this one won’t work? WON’T WORK?!? and is there anything, ANYTHING you can do?? (and the children are still screaming), and you’re scrambling, SCRAMBLING to find something, SOMETHING in your wallet to pay for these groceries (or at least the dishwasher detergent), a folded up check maybe somewhere? some gum? an old-school calling card? a receipt from your doctor’s office? a horse! a horse! my kingdom for a horse! and…and…and…you miraculously (and i do mean, miraculously) find the new debit card your bank issued you, and your children have finally stopped crying, and you are carrying your baby as you push your cart (one handed) out to your car, and you load everything and everyone in, and then you hang your head on the steering wheel and burst into tears” amount of stress?

‘cause if it’s the latter, i’m just not sure it’s worth it anymore.

1 comment:

Katie said...

Oh man. That made me never want to leave my house again. Almost to 4 and I think I really will stay home for the next 5 years. Bless your little mama heart.