loves me, loves me not

so for those of you who may be unawares, bryan and i have quite a unique love story. in fact, it’s so unique that i think taylor swift may be penning something about it at this very moment…

anyway, as i was going through the garage this weekend, i happed upon a box of old journals. now, i may not be on top of a lot of things in life, but i have always managed to diligently (and dramatically) record my personal history. that way, when we all sit down to “remember” things, we have a source (a *neutral* source).

so last night, bryan and i very much enjoyed reading through some of the things i had written about him – things he was hearing for the first time. and then, of course, we thought our readership at large might also like to take a trip down memory lane. so here are a few of our favorite excerpts from the stage in our relationship i refer to as “round one”:

**NOTE: bryan is also widely known as “danger” in fact, i didn’t even find out bryan was his real name until maybe after we were married..)

unsurprisingly, these are the first words i wrote about my dearest husband-to-be:

September 23, 2001
“Danger is a jerk.”

followed two months later by further elucidation:

November 25, 2001
“Danger talked to me a lot about his dating philosophies. Psycho dating philosophies. He made it seem like he was only looking for the epitome of perfection and no one could even come close…I was disturbed.”

**NOTE: for the record, bryan was reading an article aloud to me the other day, and he had no idea how to correctly pronounce the word “epitome.” not so perfect now, huh?

and then the culmination of my frustration:

December 12, 2001
“I still like Danger. Very much. But I feel complicated. I went to his circuits class on Tuesday and then to a movie with Owen’s friends. I sat by [Danger]. Did a little more flirting. But he’s not responsive in situations like that. Liking Danger is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. He’s crazy. He’s emotionally unavailable, uninvolved or uninterested in dating…or maybe in girls altogether. And if he was [interested in girls],I just get the impression that it wouldn’t be me. Which is giving me some self-esteem issues. I feel belittled. I can’t believe I’m belittled by the mere act of liking someone. Only Danger could do that to me.”

how we ever ended up happily hitched (in april 2004) and the parents of two beautiful baby girls…

well, i suppose only jane austen truly knows.